Save your marriage in an hour or less: cry like you did at the end of the Notebook and feel the relief of finally bringing balance to your love life with PSYCH-K®

save your marriage in an hour or less cry like you did at the end of the notebook and feel the relief of finally bringing balance to your love life with PSYCH-K.jpg

I hope everyone has had a wonderful month full of LOVE. We’ve talked romantic love via Valentine’s day, and then last week about radical self-love in the face of social media. Wrapping up this love-fest, I thought I would share a fun story with you guys about another way a little thing called PSYCH-K® has improved not only my life, but my marriage!  

All of the relationships that show up in our lives are mirrors. Our partners, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and family members all have the ability to mirror back ourselves to us, and vice versa. We call these people in. Our soul, I believe, has chosen these relationships to occur for our own evolution. That’s why, sometimes, they can be so damn TRIGGERING. (Although in PSYCH-K® we refer to these things as ‘gifts and opportunities,’ which I actually prefer. #PERSPECTIVE)

Relationships are mirrors

You may or may not know that I have been married once before, so this time around was intentionally different. I came in a different person, shaped by my previous relationships, and so did she. For better or for worse - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Good intentions aside, we both carried some battle scars, emotional wounds, and even familial conditioning into this new marriage. These could have even been the issues big enough to have ended our prior relationships (everything happens for a reason). But here we were, on a new playing field, still acting out the same scenarios that did us in before. How could this be? She is an entirely different person (and gender) than my prior partner. I, however, am of the school of thought that the universe repeatedly brings up things that we are A) continuing to call in, and B) needing to f*cking deal with for our soul to evolve, so why should a new relationship be off-limits? It’s all fair game here. So, there she was, my partner, in a different meat suit, mirroring back at me all the issues I still had with myself all over again. Except this time, it doesn’t end in a knock-down drag-out screaming match with one of us sleeping in another room. She is a different person than the last one after all, and we’re both maturing nicely.

High-fives to us.

These issues that I speak of have by no means been at the forefront of our minds on a regular basis. They always tended to creep up right in the thick of a heated argument, which is really optimal timing. (“Are we arguing about the dishes again? Perfect time to bring up that I’ve never felt pretty – that’ll make it less messy.”) So, going into the advanced PSYCH-K® workshop a few weeks ago, my marriage was not even on my radar. I knew this “relationship balance” was going to be one of the things I learned that weekend and I was fully intending on balancing for my relationship with sugar (the struggle is REAL y’all – especially when cupcakes are involved), but per usual, the universe had a higher priority for me. And Jenna. 

The balancing act

The balance starts out staring into the eyes of the other person for a few moments and then muscle testing to see if you are triggered by the other, and they by you. I felt like I didn’t want to be biased, so I went into surrogation for Jenna, which entails asking both of our higher selves permission for me to muscle test on her behalf, and another wonderful woman in the workshop went into surrogation for me. Here’s the kicker y’all - Jenna had zero idea, consciously, that this was happening that morning (although we asked her higher-self for permission). I had told her my beef was with sugar.

After staring at each other for a hot second and establishing that yes, at least one person in the relationship is triggered by the presence of the other, you then proceed to muscle test a series of points, or energy centers, in the body that represent “universal beliefs.” We call them belief points, for obvious reasons. These centers/points on the body are each associated with a positive and negative statement, such as “I am worthy of the best that love and life have to offer” versus “I am unworthy of the best that love and life have to offer” for the Self-Worth point. You muscle test for both statements to see if you already test strong to the positive and weak to the negative, which is the desired combination. However, since we’re human and have experienced varying degrees of unique conditioning, this is not always the case and no two people are the same. You can have a strong/strong response, a weak/weak, or even a weak/strong which is a complete reversal and you’re basically sabotaging yourself on a subconscious level.

Pause here – know that this is not “bad” or “good,” this is solely based off the conditioning you have received thus far while on this planet. Being human is a learning experience. You have done nothing wrong, all of us are here to learn and grow. 

This is where the crying happens

After testing for all of the belief points on both parties, you get a very clear picture of the “gifts and opportunities” (aka triggers) that your partner is presenting you with in this life. Beautiful, right? For me, Jenna mirrored my issues with Self-Worth, Unconditional Love, and Contentment in order for me to grow. In fact, my soul chose her to help me grow in those areas. And for her, I triggered her issues with Bonding (forgiving herself and taking responsibility for her life) and Choice Making. These were the opportunities we brought to the table for each other in this marriage, and when I really stopped to think about them, it all made so much sense. These beliefs formed the core of most of our arguments, dishes aside. Me, constantly reverting back to my insecurities and her the same. It was an “aha” moment like no other.

Once the gifts and opportunities have been identified, the facilitator then helps each partner individually balance for them utilizing a process called energy focusing. I thought this was the end, right? We balanced the belief points, now we should move on with our lives. But I was very wrong. The next, and final, step in the relationship balance is crucial, albeit highly emotional and I can’t say that my instructor didn’t tell me to not wear makeup that day. The final piece involves performing solo, and then together, a series of movements while repeating the phrase that the other person most needs to hear from you in order to heal. As it turns out, my soul needed to hear, via my partner, “I trust you and I am here for you” and Jenna’s soul needed to hear ‘me’ say “I want to be with you.” Repeatedly.

Cue: waterworks. So many people were crying in that room, you’d think we had just watched the f*cking Notebook.

Relationship problems solved?

At the end of the balance, once the phrases are spoken and the motions completed, there was a supreme sense of “rightness.” Like, this feeling of complete relief. We exchanged hugs and continued taking turns in surrogation for the other, balancing more beautiful relationships and leaning more deeply into ourselves. One relationship balance I was involved with afterwards was actually between a workshop participant and the consciousness of Humanity, because he never felt like he belonged and wanted to know why.

Relationships come at us in many, many forms.

The best part of this story, IMO, is that when I came home that night and recalled the day’s events with my wife, she stopped me and asked, “What time did you do all of this?” I said, “Oh, I don’t know, probably around 11” to which she replied, “Huh. Well at 10:50 this morning I was sitting outside of a patient’s house, listening to the A Star is Born soundtrack, you know – that song at the end I refuse to listen to - and just burst into tears. Out of nowhere.” 

If I ever needed confirmation that this sh*t works, this was it.

Life post-relationship-balance has been business as usual. We had never really noticed the presence of underlying tension before, but the absence of it has been palpable. This is not to say that we won’t ever have another argument, but we are definitely better equipped to continue life together in a much more balanced way - rooted in a deeper understanding of the other.

This all goes to show that our relationships are 1000% mirrors, how much we are all connected, and that our issues with ourselves will continue to be reflected back at us by the people in our lives until we ultimately face the music. Since your reality is a projection of the beliefs held in your subconscious, what are your relationships currently showing you?